After loaning her $3.5K that was never repaid, 29-year-old says she won’t give $2K because mom ‘has money so won’t help’

Lending money to family is often seen as a simple aspect. Over time, it can turn into something more complicated.

The 29-year-old woman shared on the r/AmITheJerk subreddit that tensions escalated after she was refused a loan of $2,000 from a $5,000 performance bonus she recently earned at work. Disagreement between the two sisters could not be contained and soon other family members became involved.

The original poster wrote that he earned a bonus after months of long hours on a demanding project. She plans to use part of the money for vacations and save the rest.

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A bonus triggers a familiar request

Not long after receiving the bonus, his sister asked if she could “loan” him $2,000. She said she was behind on rent and car payments and presented the request as short-term help.

As for the OP, the request sounded familiar.

She wrote that she had lent money to her sister about six times in the past two years. None of that amount was returned. In total, he estimated he had already given away about $3,500.

This time, he decided to say no. She told her sister that she couldn’t lend money without being able to pay.

Her sister became worried, cried, and said she could be kicked out. He says that family members should help each other.

“I feel bad, but I’m starting to be her bank,” OP wrote.

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Family pressure and the line she drew

The OP also mentions her sister’s spending habits, writing that she often buys designer clothes, eats out frequently, and got a new tattoo last month.

After that, his mother contacted him and called him selfish, saying that he “has money so he doesn’t help”. Her father agreed with her decision, but other relatives sided with her mother.

In the comments, many Reddit users supported her choice and focused on setting financial limits. Many also warned her not to share her income details with her family members.

“No kidding. But now you know not to tell anyone about your finances,” one commenter wrote. Another added, “Never share your financial information.”

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Such situations often arise when incomes change or expectations change within the family. Informal loans between relatives can create tension, especially when the payment is not clearly defined. Some financial planning services focus on helping high-income families think through these types of decisions in a more structured way.

Domain Money offers financial planning for US families making $100,000 or more annually, including free strategy sessions, led by a CFP professional.

Even when family pressure is involved, having clear boundaries can make living with money decisions easier. While not every choice will satisfy everyone, it can still leave room for consistency—and a little peace of mind.

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The article After $3.5K loan that never got paid back, 29-year-old says no to $2K because mom argues she has ‘money so no help’ originally appeared on Benzinga.com.

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