A Reddit user wrote that their engagement would end if their fiances continued to use joint money to support their homeless family without an agreement.
In a post shared on the r/AITAH subreddit, the original poster asked if they were wrong for refusing to continue funding after discovering that more than $11,000 had been spent without their knowledge.
The foreclosure was not disclosed
According to the OP, the future mother-in-law lost her house to foreclosure and didn’t tell them for years. The OP added that they and their fiance would have helped earlier if they had known, especially since the family included the fiance’s severely disabled father and a disabled adult daughter.
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The situation came to light only after the family was evacuated. At that point, the OP booked an extended-stay hotel and paid in advance for a week.
Joint account used without discussion
When the family discussed how to pay for the hotel, the OP was told that the disability payments would be used for housing. However, later the OP found out that the fiance kept paying for the hotel and storage unit using their joint bank account without informing them.
At the time, the OP was focused on taking care of her child and growing the business and didn’t immediately notice the fees. When the OP later reviewed their finances, they discovered that more than $11,000 had been used.
After reviewing the account activity, the OP went to the hotel and told the fiance’s family that no more money would be used from the joint account. “If one cent more is used, I’ll break off the engagement,” OP told the fiancee.
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Use of funds and family background
The OP has written that this money is for planned house purchase and daughter’s school expenses. The OP also stated that the foreclosure was hidden and the funds were used without their approval.
The OP added that they and their fiance have been together for 13 years and have never had a close relationship with the fiance’s family. According to the post, the fiancé’s mother rarely interacts with her child.
Details come later
In a later edit, the OP added that the fiance’s family had previously received a multi-million dollar legal settlement and spent it.
“I moved all the money to my personal account,” wrote the OP, “fiancé now has to ask me if he needs any of it.”
The OP also wrote that the fiance accepted responsibility for joint fund use without discussion.
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“He has taken full responsibility and realizes he should have talked to me before taking the money,” Opie wrote, adding that he later believed the funds would be replaced using money his family was expected to receive.
“I have not forgiven him,” the OP wrote. “In all other respects he is a great father and a great partner.”
Reddit draws hard lines
“End the pain now and leave immediately,” one commenter wrote. “My ex-husband continued to subsidize his deadbeat father — who also lost his home in foreclosure — even after we paid months and agreed to reduce support.”
“This is generational denial,” another Redditor wrote. “Jump ship. This won’t end well for you, or them, or anyone. Save yourself and your children.”
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The article ‘If One More Cent Is Used, I’ll Break Off Engagement,’ Fiance Says After $11K Goes To Secret Hotel Bills For Homeless In-Laws originally appeared on Benzinga.com.
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