Only science fiction explains the parallel universe of the UN

I’ve been watching the new Netflix sci-fi series, 3 Problem with the body. It’s very good – as it should be at a reported cost of $160 million. Apart from everything else, it brings out some of the most complicated concepts of theoretical physics so brilliantly that you don’t even realize you’re thinking about these ideas as you follow what’s going on.

I won’t give away the plot, except to say that one of the key concepts it deals with is the multiverse – the idea that there are a number of parallel universes that exist next to each other. This is where I discover my inner Trekkie. One of my favorites Star Trek episode is mirror mirror, when a transporter malfunction sends Captain Kirk and his crew to a parallel universe in which the Enterprise is part of an invading empire and promotion is secured by killing rival officers.

I’ve been struggling to explain to myself, let alone anyone else, how the events in the Middle East over the last few months, let alone decades, can be properly explained in a deeper way than just , “they hate Jews” (not that this isn’t almost always true). Most of the time, it’s like – here we go – people live in parallel universes.

Take the casualty figures cited since Israel began its response to the Hamas massacre on October 7. This week’s tragic killing of aid workers in Gaza has rightly been universally condemned. And although the exact circumstances must be fully investigated and the results published, there is no doubt that the real event took place. But this is not the case with the overall casualty figures that are widely talked about.

According to the BBC, the White House, and now our own foreign secretary, Israel has killed over 30,000 people in Gaza, 70 percent of whom are women and children. Every once in a while, someone will use the caveat “according to the Hamas-controlled Ministry of Health,” but they then proceed to use the figures as if they are, obviously, correct.

But if you dig into them, it’s pretty clear that those numbers only exist in a parallel universe where the laws of statistics, biology, and physics don’t apply. Special studies, one published in Fathom and one in tablet, show, as data scientist Professor Abraham Wyner of the University of Pennsylvania concludes in the latter, that this civilian death toll is statistically improbable: “The daily numbers rise too steadily to be real,” increasing each day “by almost metronomic linearity”.

Wyner says that Hamas “designated about 70 percent of the total to be women and children, dividing that amount randomly from day to day. Then they completed the number of men determined by the predetermined total. This explains all the observed data.” In some data sets, men must have been brought back to life, while for some days apparently no men were killed, only women.

Read his findings in full – they are available on the Tablet website. But you don’t need to be a data scientist to appreciate how meaningless the overall numbers are. Hamas itself said last month that 6,000 of its fighters had been killed. This represents more than 20 percent of the total deaths claimed by Hamas. But if, as Hamas says, 70 percent of those killed were women and children, then if the normal laws of mathematics apply, then, according to Hamas’ figures, almost no male civilians have been killed since Israel began its operation in Gaza – or, conversely, almost every male in Gaza is a Hamas fighter.

Rather, the near certainty is that, as Prof Wyner says, “the victims are not primarily women and children, and most may be Hamas fighters.” Indeed, the actual ratio of civilian casualties to Hamas terrorists is “at most 1.4 to 1 and possibly as low as 1 to 1.”

See what I mean about parallel universes? Those who cite Hamas casualty figures are living in a parallel universe where 2+2 does not equal 4, but whatever Hamas claims it is.

It is the same phenomenon regarding aid and the alleged famine that is engulfing Gaza as a result of Israel – in this other parallel universe – refusing to allow sufficient food or medical supplies to enter. parallel universe. The UN Human Rights Council, after all, exists not so much in a parallel universe as in some crazy anti-Semitic fantasy world.)

The latest report by the Famine Review Committee (FRC) of the United Nations Food Security Phase Classification (IPC) said famine is likely until May in northern Gaza and until July in other parts of the Strip. However, last week, COGAT, the Israeli Defense Ministry body responsible for civilian affairs in the Palestinian territories (COGAT stands for Coordination of Government Activities in the Territories) blasted “numerous factual and methodological flaws” in the IPC report, which was – of course – based on figures provided by Hamas.

For one thing, the IPC simply repeated as fact the Hamas health ministry’s assertion that less than a liter of water per person was available per day, when the actual figure is 20. COGAT has provided irrefutable photographs and other evidence of aid from 150 to 200 trucks coming in every day – what is actually an 80 percent increase in food supplies since before October 7. The problem, as anyone living in our current universe and not the parallel one in which the Jews are trying to starve the Gazans, is that the UN agencies themselves in Gaza, and some of the aid organizations, have not been in unable to deliver supplies waiting on the Gaza side of the Kerem Shalom crossing for UN distribution by aid workers – largely because of Hamas, which is deliberately delaying the confession of hunger from Israelis. And the UN, of course, repeats it as fact.

This week a series of photos have appeared on social and Palestinian media showing markets in Gaza brimming with food – indeed there is now so much available that, as one vendor told reporters, “an average family can now buy produce for a generous meal at 100 shekels, compared to the 200 shekels required for such a meal just a few days ago.”

like 3 Problem with the body shows, there are an infinite number of these parallel universes. The accusation, for example, that Israel is engaged in genocide, rather than a remarkably precise and carefully planned attempt to destroy a terrorist organization, is clearly the product of a parallel universe. You can, I’m afraid, choose from many others.

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