The Supreme Court cleared the way for an extremely dangerous practice – and now many young people will die

In the spring of 2015, on a sunny California day, I sat chatting with my nephew, Isaiah.

“My therapist said that faith can straighten the bent of nature,” he told me, leaning in.

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We burst out laughing. Although conversion therapy is not funny, we were making the best of a desperate situation. As a trauma therapist, I found her treatment in the therapy room deeply troubling.

This week, the United States Supreme Court struck down a Colorado state law banning the practice of conversion therapy. In an 8-1 decision, the justices found that these restrictions violated the First Amendment. Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson dissented, reading, “It threatens to undermine states’ ability to regulate the provision of medical care in any context.” Treatment causes medical harm – First Amendment rights are not at issue here.

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Conversion therapy attempts to change the client’s ****** orientation, gender identity or gender expression. It attempts to make LGBTQ+ people heterosexual or cisgender. It’s a fraudulent practice that doesn’t work, and what’s more, it’s capable of deep—even deadly—harm.

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As a licensed marriage and family therapist, I have seen firsthand the deep damage this type of therapy can cause. Clients experience trauma, shame, depression and suicidality because of it. I advised my nephew against it and explained that this supposed “cure” for homosexuality is considered offensive and unacceptable in the professional community, as it endangers the lives of countless LGBTQ+ youth.

Chief among them are medical organizationsAmerican Psychological Association“***** orientation change attempts” declared harmful. The practice has been rejected by every major medical and mental health organization because it has been proven to cause measurable psychological damage.

Experts agree that the approach is an extremely dangerous practice, and it was Abandoned by the American Medical Association in 1994. A 2020 report by the Williams Institute found that “LGB people who have undergone conversion therapy. [are] “Almost twice as likely to attempt suicide” as those who have not.

My fears were well founded. The treatment hurt Isaiah, and when he came to me recently and shared what he had been through, he told me, “It was so scary. They wouldn’t let my parents. I had to go there alone and sit in front of people I didn’t know.” He added, “His questions were rapid fire and full of judgment. I don’t remember all the details.”

Also read: I spent 3 years in conversion therapy. The things I experienced there traumatized me for decades.

I was not surprised when he apologized for not remembering. Dissociation and alienation are common side effects of conversion therapy. When a child endures a traumatic experience, the brain and nervous system respond by pulling away from the self. The body’s fight or flight system creates an audible distance from thoughts and feelings as a way to avoid pain.

As he experiences memory loss, Isaiah remembers important truths. He remembers the therapist sitting next to him and asking, “Do you think ****** nature about men?” Isaiah was at a loss as to how to respond. Should he tell the truth or lie? When he told the truth, his “homework” was punishable, and the shame spiral intensified. When he started lying, the pressure was off and so was the homework. He quickly learned to lie.

“The therapist tried to ‘fix me’ and make me ‘normal,'” Isaiah explained. “For example, he said I was ‘staying too girly’ – not ‘manly’ enough.” This created a core wound for him. Saying that your lifestyle is flawed may seem trivial to some people, but it strikes something deep. It told him that his most natural, unguarded self was somehow inherently wrong—not what he did but how he existed in moments of relaxation. That is a violation of a client who is in a vulnerable position. It all goes against what therapy tries to be.

As therapists, our training requires us to do no harm and most therapists consider conversion therapy to be psychologically and emotionally destructive. Thebase Conversion therapy is that homosexuality is a sin, and it is the therapist’s job to convert the child and make them “normal.” This is akin to telling a person that they are fundamentally broken and need to be fixed, or that they have an illness when no illness exists.

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Like many children forced to undergo this type of “treatment” when the interventions didn’t work, Isaiah internalized the failure.

“It made me feel bad about who I was,” she explained, admitting that shame ruined her ability to have healthy relationships. Trust became a big issue. “It’s always going to be something I’m working on.”

“It affected my identity,” he added. “I wanted to come out sooner, but I was scared. It stunted my growth. Their biggest tool is shame. I was ashamed of who I was.”

The choice to place Isaiah in conversion therapy came at a great price. The words caught on In his throat when he told me that suicide was a real thought at the time.Dark thoughts crept in during quiet moments.

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From the beginning, the odds were stacked against Isaiah. In the small Christian community he called home, he was already feeling lonely and isolated. Isaiah fell into a deep depression as he suppressed his sexuality and hid his young life from view. He experienced overwhelming feelings of worthlessness, guilt, and sadness at an age that was already difficult for almost every young person.

“Conversion therapy tried to change me,” Isaiah told me. Indeed, my sweet, happy, talented nephew did change, but not in the way his church had hoped. Instead of being “straight,” he learned to lie and keep secrets. The only way he could get out of treatment was to say, “I’m cured. I don’t have those thoughts anymore.” And that’s how he got out. He went deep into the closet, pretending they wanted him to, and he didn’t come out until years later.

The following year, Isaiah found drama club and acting and performed in every play his performance group put on throughout high school. He then went to a prominent drama patron.

“College was a transformative moment for me,” he said. “I saw gay men living openly, and I think it clicked something in my mind and changed everything. I think that’s what it’s like to be freed from the shame that was holding me back.”

As a result of that acceptance from the LGBTQ+ community, he found the courage to come out at 19, but the psychological damage he suffered did not diminish.

“Honestly, I don’t think I’ll ever get over it,” he said. “You know it’s always going to be something where I’m working to get better — to deconstruct all that stuff.”

Despite the scars, Isaiah now lives in New York City, where he is enjoying “his best gay life” by running a high-end interior architecture gallery.

“People need to know that conversion therapy is not helpful for anyone,” he explained. “They need to be educated on how terrible it is.”

This restriction was extremely important because it protected a vulnerable population from coercion under the guise of treatment. Now, with the Supreme Court’s decision, countless young LGBTQ+ children may be at risk and some will choose to end their lives through the torture of conversion therapy. Their blood will be on the hands of these judges.

Looking back, I now realize that my nephew was lucky to avoid such a traumatic experience. As both a physician and mother figure in her life, I am grateful that she is still with us. When I asked Isaiah what he wanted people to understand about conversion therapy, he said, “It’s the most harmful thing you can do to a young person. You’re abusing them. It’s mental abuse.”

If you’re in a crisis, here are some resources that can help:

The Trevor Projectis the leading suicide prevention and crisis intervention nonprofit organization for LGBTQ+ youth, providing information and support 24/7, 365 days a year.

988 Lifeline: Call, text or chat with 988 Lifeline for 24/7, free and confidential crisis support.

911: If a youth is in immediate danger, call 911 and notify the operator that it is a mental health emergency. You can make a requestCrisis Intervention Trained (CIT) Officer in your state.

Melissa Garner Lee is a novelist and marriage and family therapist whose writing and clinical work explores trauma healing. Her first novel, “The Gleaner,” examines women’s rights through the lens of 1960s California. Her therapy practice specializes in women’s trauma recovery, while her essays examine contemporary issues through the lens of mindfulness and psychological resilience.

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