Waxers, doctors and nurses share their unfiltered inner thoughts about your ‘private’.

Look, let’s get it out there: It’s uncomfortable when you have to be completely or partially naked for a medical exam or cosmetic procedure. right? This is natural and part of the process, but when you know that the person on the other end is a professional who is there to do their job, they are also a human being. In any other context being naked in front of them would be very strange, and it’s hard to completely shut that part of your mind off, no matter the setting.

It’s amazing how body dysmorphia really knows no boundaries. We think about insecurities, focusing on things like the flatness of our stomach or the shape of our nose. But perhaps humans are the most self-conscious thing we actually talk about the least.

According to one study, about 30% of men are “dissatisfied” with the shape, size or appearance of their penis. This number is even higher when it comes to how women feel about their vagina. A survey conducted by Refinery 29 Almost half of women show “concern” about the appearance of their vulva.

The numbers suggest that anywhere from one-third to half or all of people think there’s something wrong with the way we view our private parts. Which begs the question: If we all think we’re weird, is anyone really weird?

An interesting Reddit thread recently polled experts on the subject — people who see the most horrific genitalia in their line of work: waxing technicians or estheticians. The responses were strangely inspiring.

The prompt asked, “Waxers, how surprised are you by what a client’s genitals look like?”

Professional waxers chimed in with their stories and observations. Doctors, nurses, pelvic floor therapists, urologists, and many other professionals who work closely with people with infertility.

Here are some great responses:

“Going to chime in as a doctor—and I imagine it’s the same for professional waxers. We. don’t care. And in my case I’d be surprised if you showed me something I’d never seen before.” — feeling better

“I was very conscious and insecure about my genitalia. I honestly thought I had a weird vagina. But working in this industry has taught me that every single one is a snowflake. I’ve seen it all and nothing surprises me. Clean yourself up before you come in.” – Wilde-Clementine

Not a waxer but I am a labor and delivery nurse. I see a vulva every day I work, often several, and usually have a spotlight on it about 3 feet from my face. I’m not too surprised. Most are out of my memory when they were dressed or covered. When it comes to genitalia you want to be incomparable.” – respect

“Very, very rarely. Shaved, not shaved, lots o’ labia, no labia, etc.—it’s all the same to me. I’m just here to work.” – Important – Tackle

“Never. I haven’t seen it all. The spots, the hyperpigmentation, the unevenness; none of this surprises me. Please wash yourself before you come to me.” – morning of the past

“Nothing surprises me, I usually just focus on the hair, but I have a client who has a patch of hair near the tip of his penis under his shaft that we call his bottom sole patch.” – noorism

Two big takeaways:

First, outside of obvious deformities or pathologies, nothing stands out to most knowledgeable people about genitalia. Differences in size, shape and structure are completely normal and barely register on the radar!

Second, no matter how you look there, good hygiene is always appreciated. A solid tip that extends beyond the boundaries of the esthetician’s office!

Being embarrassed, self-conscious, or even ashamed of the way your parts look might not seem like a big deal, but it can be.

It’s strange and sad that unrealistic beauty standards actually affect the way we perceive our own nether regions. Pornography, the media, and inconsiderate past partners all play a role in people developing concerns about how their genitals look.

Both men and women can have their sex lives negatively affected by poor self-image and anxiety about the way they look naked. When shame gets really bad, it can hold them back in a relationship, or even prevent them from finding one in the first place.

This shame or embarrassment unfortunately extends to the medical field as well.

Fear of being judged or humiliated can prevent women in particular from not only going for a wax, but from going to the gynecologist, getting a breast exam, or asking potentially-embarrassing but important and life-saving health questions. For their part, men are likely to avoid conversations about prostate exams, testicular exams, or potentially embarrassing topics like erectile dysfunction or bladder problems. None of these things are fun or comfortable, but they are critical to our health!

Experts say sharing your flaws with your doctor or cosmetic professional can help. Letting them know you’re nervous or feeling awkward can prompt you to offer comfort measures. It helps to be really direct and detailed about what you want or what you want to discuss.

According to Cedars-Sinai, “Does sex hurt? Tell your doctor exactly where you feel the pain. Notice that your stool smells bad? Try to describe the smell in detail.” If you’re too shy to talk about it, try writing it down. At some point, you have to take a test. Just get over it, it gets easier once you build a relationship with your doctor (or waxer!) over time.

If you’ve ever been a little self-conscious, take it from the experts, from people who’ve seen hundreds if not thousands of genitalia up close and personal, in the most amazing light and possibly from the worst angle: you’re totally normal!

This article originally appeared two years ago. It has been updated.

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